I sit alone by the table.
I hear voices.
Sounds of movement.
Sounds of life.

I reach out.
I feel something smooth.
A plate.
A meal.

Smells tickle my nose.
Aromas of chicken.
Sweet smells of pudding.
Smells of life.

What color is the food?
Is the sun shining?
Are the faces around me young or old?
So many questions.

Questions I can’t answer,
I’ve never been able to answer.
For I’ve been blind,
Living in the dark for years.

The nursing home is now my prison.
I sit alone, 
Ignored by the staff,
Poked by the nurses.

This is not the ending
I would have envisioned for myself. 
A darkness too encompassing.
A sadness too overwhelming. 






Lost in my own mind.

Thoughts trickle down in torrents,

Leaving behind my empty soul.

Frost turns my lips ice blue.

Ice freezes me in place.

Trapped in the refuse of my lonely mind.



Alone can be refreshing,

A walk in the cold snow.

Lonely can be depressing,

A silence that hits you low.


Can we distinguish between the two,

As we listen to our heart’s song?

Our time alone is so rare and few,

Refreshing until it feels wrong.


At this moment I feel alive,

Alone but not lonely in my own place.

My dark spirit yearns to survive,

As I raise my happy face.




I’m lost,

Drowning in despair,

Falling deeper into sorrow.

I want to let go,

And sink to the bottom,

My head submerged.

With no fight left in me,

No will to go on,

The darkness will take me.

Into its arms,

I willingly go.

I’m ready to surrender

To the everlasting void.





Please wash away my sorrow and pain.
Let it flow down the streets with the rain.
Dissolved in torrents of despair and sadness,
Joining others on its way past the madness.

The ocean may take it far away,
To places, we cannot even say.
Where no one recognizes its sting
Or knows the infliction it can bring.

Let the rain grow harder with its might,
Becoming hail on this fateful night.
I want to be free of all traces
Of unwanted feelings and faces.

My body grows cold from the rain.
It stands clean and free from the pain.
Shivers create a path down my spine,
As I wait in the dark woods of pine.

I hold my head high to the wet spray.
It becomes a mist of blue and grey.
The faucet has turned off for the night,
Leaving me feeling clean and so right.


Linda heartache

Heartache is for me.
My heart yearns for thee.

Lies fall so easily from your lips.
They feel salty on my fingertips.

I must remain strong.
I hope I am wrong.

I need proof to trust you once more.
My heart is breaking at its core.

The salty mist soothes me.
The wind caresses me.

But I feel cold deep inside.
I need a safe place to hide.


A feeling of cleanliness.
Let the water rain down on me.
I can’t resist its pull.
It draws me to the window.
I watch its majestic descent to earth.
It washes away all dirt.
The impurities left behind by humanity.
Wash me.
Clean me.
Make me feel fresh once again.